When your daughter tries to BRIBE you...

I'm not quite sure how to feel about this.

As all moms and dads know, parenthood is a topsy-turvy world. Much like the fun-houses you enter at a Carnival, you are constantly being surprised by unexpected twists and turns, albeit in a colorful and "fun" environment. A place you entered at your own will, knowing sometimes the "fun house" will make your heart jump and your adrenaline speed up.

Sometimes you think you're doing a good job as a parent, but then you look in the mirror and you see a distorted version of yourself- in other words- you're not sure how "good" or "bad" of a job you're doing.

This week, I had an incident happen to me.

Sometimes I reward my daughter's achievements with "prizes" in the form of gifts, money, or promises to take her to the movies with popcorn and soda to boot. Well, if you choose to call it a bribe, so be it.

But on Friday, my daughter turned the tables around and I was just not quite sure how to react.

Basically, she got a bad mark on her behavior sheet which means she talked out of turn in class. Every day, parents are to sign this sheet so you can monitor your kids daily behavior and read the teachers comments to see what kind of misbehavin' they've done so you can apply the appropriate lesson at home.

Before my daughter handed over her behavior sheet so I could sign it, she told me, "before you see it, mom could I give you $5.00 so you won't be upset?" With that pre-emptive strike I knew I was probably going to see something I didn't like, but how should I feel about my 8 year old child bribing me?

I had mixed feelings. First, I appreciated her creative spirit. She anticipated a conflict and before facing it, thought it out and figured out a plan about how to mitigate it before it got ugly. Second she demonstrated an entrepreneurial side, hey if money gives you rewards, then money can also help you "buy" your way out of a problem.

But how should I feel, as the parent. My mixed reactions also included, "Oh, no! Have I been teaching her that money can 'allow' you to be 'bad' in class as you can 'buy' your way out of trouble?"

I took the money, and gave her a disapproving smirk. I know at this young age, she values money as I always make her save it and buy most of her own stuff like toys and other miscellaneous knick knacks.

I know giving up an entire $5.00 was slightly painful for her, and punishment in and of itself. Much like many parents have "swearing jars" at home, where you need to put a quarter in the jar every time you swear, I figured, for her giving up a weeks worth of A's and good behavior on her sheet was something that probably pained her.

But she was not completely out of the woods yet. The next morning as I drove her to school, I started  lecturing her on how she needed to behave in class, not talk out of turn, yadda yadda yadda.

As she exited the car, she said, "mom, you are lecturing me, so now you owe me my $5.00 back.!"

PARENTHOOD... quite the fun house it is... But I'm keeping the money.

Got Crabs?? Put on a bib and go get ya'some !

When my in-laws were visiting this weekend from Colorado, Tiny (my husband's nickname for his mom) wanted to take advantage of the beautiful California Coastline (and who can blame her) and have lunch somewhere near the water. Jeff my husband suggested The Crab Pot in Long Beach. !

We all ordered "The Alaskan" which is a big pot of King Crab, Dungeness Crab, Snow Crab, Shrimp, Steamed Clams, Pacific Mussels, Andouille Sausage, Corn on the Cob and Red Potatoes! 

The best part about it: NO SILVERWARE NEEDED! The waiters literally drop the pot of seafood yummi-ness right on the table and you use your bare hands to get right into it! 

You also get to wear a cute bib, so in ways I felt like a toddler all over again- eating with my fingers and wearing a bib! I'm 8 months pregnant so I'm about to go through the "messy eating-wearing bib" stage with a real live baby in just a few weeks, so it was nice to feel like a kid again myself before I need to be a real adult and take care of a little one.

Eating here was a good way to have some great seafood, re-connect with the "baby" in all of us, and have an amazing time with my in-laws, husband and daughter near the beautiful Ocean. 

If you don't live near Long Beach California, there are Crab Pots in Seattle, Bellevue, Rancho Mirage and La Quinta!
HERE IS THEIR WEBSITE : The Crab Pot.

Yes... I'm a guilty wife, can you blame me for this guilty pleasure?

"There are people in here who want me dead, some for retribution but most to establish their own notoriety.  It would be a sure path to celebrity to kill me or one of my friends, known collectively as the Monte Carlo Mistresses. That was the moniker that stuck in the international media."
- EXCERPT from the book "Guilty Wives" by  James Patterson & David Ellis

MY "GUILTY WIVES"BOOK REVIEW.

I've never been into James Patterson novels. Mainly because I would much rather read biographies and memoirs because most of them are about successful people and how they handled adversity. I love reading about real people, real situations, real outcomes.

But... once in a while I indulge in the 'guilty' pleasure of reading fiction. I was first attracted to this book because of it's title. The words guilty wives conjures so many different emotions. Ohhhh the shame of being a guilty wife. But guilty of what? Perhaps guilty of not being the "perfect" wife? Not being as crafty as Martha Stewart? As good of a cook as Paula Dean? As good looking as Gisele Bundchen? As smart as Condoleezza Rice? As politically savvy as Hilary Clinton? As alluring as Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis? As sweet looking as Katie Holmes? The list goes on.... Wow I'm GUILTY on all counts!

Well, hold on..  this book is about another type of guilt. Murder. Adultery. I would describe it as "Sex and the City" meets "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" meets "Beverly Hills Housewives."

"Guilty Wives" centers on four extremely wealthy women who are all married, and decide to take a girls weekend trip to Monte Carlo. Its like the rich people's version of Las Vegas. The book takes you directly into their world, and gives you a taste of what its like when you can do what you want when you want when money is not an issue. The girls party like rock stars in an exotic Hotel and end up spending an "interesting" night on a rich man's yacht. When they wake up, the President of France (who was partying with them) is found shot dead and the murder is linked to the four women.

Its a whodunit novel with a feminine twist. Once I started reading it, it was hard to put down. The books extravagant setting in Monte Carlo and Paris made the mystery even sweeter.

Yes... im Guilty... of loving this book.

TO GET "GUILTY WIVES" CLICK HERE

I love these Nautical themed candles, and guess what? I Hand-Crafted them myself- And so can you IN 5 EASY STEPS !

It was super easy... 

STEP #1 -Find some cute votive candle holders 

I found a bunch of these on sale for two dollars at Michael's Arts and Crafts.  Since I'm having a Nautical-themed party, I decided it would be a nice to have these candles around the tables as decoration. I bought 14!

STEP #2 -Get some nautical rope -type ribbon to decorate the candle

 I used a glue gun to wrap it around the candle.

STEP #3 - Glue a Nautical Themed sticker or Seashell on the candle

I bought stickers with different fun beach themes and a bag of Shells. To mix it up, I glued a sticker on some candles, and a seashell on the other ones. Mixing and matching is fun and adds a little spontaneity to your arts and crafts.

STEP #4- Insert decorative sand and blue sea rocks and seashells in the candle.

They sell these bags of decorative sand in different colors. I bought off-white to give it a more beachy feel.

STEP #5 -Insert a small tea light candle in each votive (they sell a dozen for about three dollars)

VOILA! you are done and ready to add a little romantic flair to your Nautical-themed soiree... You can also give the candles to your guests afterward as a "thank-you" gift for "lighting up your evening." HAPPY CRAFTING! 

DOING THE THIRD TRIMESTER DANCE!

When I met my future husband, I was 34 years old, and I already knew that at some point I wanted to have another child. Fast-forward a few years into our relationship and in a blink of an eye I was already 38, with my 40s looming just around the corner!

Panic set in, the biological clock ticked louder than Big Ben, and I felt that I had to put my foot down and do this pregnancy thing now or lose the opportunity forever.

PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK TO READ MY COMPLETE ARTICLE ON MAMIVERSE.COM

Time-Travel is possible

I like to take a breath. Fast forward 10 years from now and look at myself now, and tell myself... hmmm what could I have done differently? What are my regrets from the 2012 version of myself? What negative thoughts were self-defeating, useless and counter-productive?

Only then can I be objective and see things with a wider lens. The beauty of it is, you still have time to change your thoughts and actions because you ARE in the present.

Your "future-self" will always be wiser, because with time comes knowledge. Like my mom says "más sabe el Diablo por viejo que por Diablo."(The Devil knows more because he's old, not because he's the Devil.)

I like to listen to my "future-self." She is wiser, more beautiful, more traveled, more relaxed, and more comfortable in her own skin. Because time passed and she realized that her world didn't crash down on her when she didn't get "that job," that cutting off certain friendships really were for the best, and that with all its pitfalls, failures, and disappointments, life still is beautiful if you can learn to savor and appreciate it.

Doing this exercise in reverse can teach you valuable lessons as well.

-I would tell my 6 year old self things like "don't pay attention to criticism, you are unique, you are special." I would tell her things like "things will work out, you will do great things, and travel to amazing places."

-I would tell my 13 year old self, "its okay if you don't know what you want to do, you will figure it out for sure, use this time to explore and have fun."

-I would tell my 30 year old self, "you will find a great guy, have patience, open your eyes and you will eventually pick a good one!"

-And hopefully, one day I will tell my 70 year-old self "you have lived a rich life with purpose, love, adventure, you let all the negative energy that people threw at you bounce right off like a ball and even laughed at it a little, you surrounded yourself with people who loved and appreciated you, and Naibe, hold on cause you still have 20plus years left to go."

A REAL HOUSEWIVES' REAL STRUGGLE

"For the next nearly six years, I always assumed I was being recorded in the car and at home. In fact, one of our housekeepers later told me that she had seen a small tape recorder under a side table in our bedroom. Of course, I was always careful to make sure the content of my conversations was very clear."
-EXCERPT from Book "Hiding from Reality"- By Taylor Armstrong.

I love reading memoirs and biographies. Although the whole hype of the Reality Show craze can be annoying sometimes, I have to admit some of my guilty pleasures include watching those shows. I guess its fun to see how women with limitless budgets spend their time and money. Hey, its not my time or my money so spend away!! After a few episodes you realize a lot of these women don 't necessarily lead happy or less complicated lives. But they are fun to watch!  They also cry and get angry, only they're in Louboutin heels and private jets. I guess some problems in life can be solved with money, and as my mother says "los problemas con pan son menos."In other words, the hard blows of life are softened with a hefty bank account. However, something like suicide, divorce and abuse will never be soft blows, no matter how much money you have.

When the news hit last year that Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Housewife Taylor Armstrong's husband Russell committed suicide, it reminded us all that these are real women, who are not immune to tragedy, death, and even a sudden change in their financial safety nest.

Taylor Armstrong and Me (Naibe) during an Interview 

Armstrong eventually started to openly talk about the abuse she received by her husband, both emotionally and physically. Coming from a background of abuse myself, I was interested in her memoir, and reading about the details of what she went through, why she stayed, and how she is coping now as a single mother.

I was pleasantly surprised by her candidness and how well written the book was. Of course I know celebrities who write memories have ghost writers and editors that help guide them so each sentence sounds polished and perfect. But I have read other memories that appeared to be written by a Junior High School version of themselves (I love ya Kyle Richards but your memoir needs help.)

I actually got to meet Taylor in person during one of my assignments. I was covering a swanky gifting lounge at the London Hotel and she was looking at hats. She even helped me pick one out and placed it on my head with a slight angle so it wouldn't look so dorky.

I wish her and her daughter well, and I hope her book makes other women in abusive relationships realize that they need to, have to, and must get out- before tragedy strikes them or a loved one around them.

check it out:
Hiding from Reality